13 Going on 30

by Sauce is Matisse

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about

A tragedy for the kid in all of us.

credits

released July 15, 2016

Featuring guest vocals from Jon Huang of Skyward, E. The Rapper, T-Bone, Mr. Hip, Sophia Omarji, Lou Ka$h, Y'z, and D. Riddle.

Produced by Kamilson for The Dream Beats, Mister K.A Beats, and Epik of The Council Productions.

Mastered by Crossworm.

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about

Sauce is Matisse Charlottesville, Virginia

"Sauce is Matisse" is a rapper based in Charlottesville, VA inspired by both underground and mainstream music across all genres. His work showcases a sound between raw hip-hop and the most technical metal outfits.

After being described as a mental paradox, he was given the advice to “contain” that paradox in order to allow all sides of himself to coexist. He has done this through music.
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Track Name: Swallow My Spit
[Chorus ]
Ain’t nobody care about you rapping at the bottom
They just go on and ignore you, no support or massive following
Cuz money makes a movement, ain't no tools unless you bought em
Got a dollar in my wallet, if you want it you can swallow
My spit, my spit, you can swallow my spit
Like this, like this, you can swallow my spit
I'm sizzling instrumentals on cauterized hits
Thinking this is when I killed it, when you swallowed my spit

[Verse 1]
Hold the phone, spoken flow's flawless vocal phonetics
Are rarely known, never going, gone in global directions
Unless you're owned, call it common cost to open incentive
For all these harlots with Hollywood karma coaxing your credit
And I never been a name, I never been famous, I never been worshipped and praised
And I never been paid, but I bet I been banking on all this horse shit decaying
With all the corruption in this game, I can't just force it to change
And so I make the most of my makeshift Mozart emotional state
I ain’t finished cuz I’m never done, feeling like forever young
Decade upon decade, I'm like perpetually a little punk
I’m underground, but I'd really like a little love
Let me in your head a bit, I’m better if you listen up
I do this for myself and all my starving artist family
Dammit I've been damaged but this art is all my sanity
Plan to pay a panhandling man to take a stand for me?
Forget it, I ain’t pandering to decadent philandering with "fans"

[Verse 2]
All too painful is the struggle when the majors all one up you
Cuz you're fucking up your funding, fate is funny how it snubs you
You're nothing but you love it cuz it's something you can run to bro
And you don't give a fuck about the come-up or the hustle
What about an intermission from this script that I’ve started?
I’ll admit that I’m addicted if you let me just start shit over
Bet I'm busy with the bending over backwards for bars in flows
But only cuz they’re part of me, in the darkness it's hard to cope, so
Where my budget at? Tell me where my budget at
Selling tracks is swell but I should tell you it's a fucking trap
Half the dudes who make it, bet they'd say that the don't wanna rap
Use it, abuse it, then lose the music, "where the money at?"
So follow my lips: you can swallow my spit
While I wallow in sorrow, borrowing all of my chips
It’s harrowing, haunting, harmful, but all that I live
Lemme walk to tomorrow barking the bars in my hits, cuz
Track Name: This Spiteful Muse
[Chorus]
As I been writing tunes, trying to ignite the fuse, I got this spiteful muse
Telling me what I should do
and though it might be true, but I got a life to lose, I'm tryna fight refusal
Tell me something new

[Verse 1]
The Sonic Bliss? It's all a myth
Because I'm always pissed, often thinking thoughts amiss
It's politics, I don't want to spit
Because I caught the illness, I’m coughing, now this song is sick
I don't wanna be the guy who's all obnoxious in your face
Dicking away, spitting in vain, let propaganda mix a tape
So full of myself, wanting the wealth, but I cannot change
And everyday, getting away with a display of ego and angst
Morning and night I'm ignoring the news, I’m abhorrent in moral abuse
I'm more than a mic as I’m pouring my life in this story important for views
My reputation, a hustler’s innovation
Like fuck a message, I'ma just corrupt a generation
You down with that? I'm about to snap
I've found that sound can act as power so I'm bound to rap
How loud is that? As loud as Matt
A thousand hours? That's a fraction of my crowded act

[Verse 2]
I’m a quiet dude, I'm tried and true
I'm tryna liven up my livelihood and rhyme astute
But am I a brute? I'm kinda screwed
I'm later in life and I’m behind a mic in a crowded booth
I don't wanna be so brash and cocky, let me do my thing
I'm acting lofty, Matt’s a monster messed up, moody swings
I've taken the pills, faking the feels, fashioned foolish flings
Like rap and the music, acting stupid, bag it up, lose the dream
Unless I get ready to peddle the petty, incentive for reeling em in
I'll never be ready to bend to the fetish of feeding the people with fibs
I hardly party, I'm scarred and kind of artsy
But fuck my heart, the scenes so arbitrarily narcissistic
And I’m down to earth, spit grounded words
I found a verse I fit in, sounds sick but it's bound to hurt
The hours turn, the coward learns
How I've been powerless so now I think I'm out of turn

[Verse 3]
My common sense? It's gone and spent
I lost my tether and now I'm reckless in my thoughtful threads
The songs impress? I'm an awful mess
If y’all were impressed then I wouldn't question whether my songs connect
But ain’t pouting while I'm shrouded in this shadows shade
In the loudest masquerade around, I'm out, I’ve found my face
There ain't a facade over the visage, I've taken it down, parade
My talent and focus out in the open, but I'm without a name
And so I'm alone as a vocalist, honing in, focusing all on myself
There ain't no promoters or going to shows where I'm flowing cuz nobody tells
Like anyone else, my cells unhealthy, padded
The way I'm venting is hate-preventative, tell me I'm an addict
With no self control, I can seldom hold
This sheltered shell of myself together, but I won't sell my soul
You can tell I've been told, to never commit to the road
But I've written this flow and spitting these vocals, never would listen to no's
Track Name: You're A Monster! (feat. Jon Huang)
[Chorus]
You’re a beast on the beats, but nobody’s got a leash so they’re saying
You’re a monster
You gotta eat, but nobody wanna feed you, they say
You’re a monster
You wanna play but they got you in a cage cuz they say
You’re a monster
They try to blame you, until your dying day you remain
You’re a monster

[Verse 1]
I'm more than meets the eye, I was born with horrible deformities
Portions of my mind are abnormal, normally War & Peace
So it's unfortunate being born has no warranty
My parents had an animal on their hands at the core of me
But my decorum that I maintained made it so I'm well behaved
Made it so I'm sheltered, saved, held up in a wealthy cage
Mellow with unhealthy rage, telling fellas self-fulfilling prophecies
I swell and shake in jealous hate
I’m uncontrollable, lyrics near unquotable
Notice how I’m flowing, don't you hear me how I'm potent as the
Venom from a cobra? I'm hissing in my vocal booth
I must have flown the coop, you're missing me and so confused
The chupacabra, I'm chewing bars then I spew em out
Cruel and inhumanly brutal, lunacy is fueling sound
All these civilized types think I goof around
But this instinct thrives in this zoo I've found

[Verse 2]
I can't believe I'm a caged beast, defeatist and staying weak
I need to filet beats and eat em to stay me
Cuz lately, I been feeling like I’m pacing
Back and forth, Matt’s a morbid animal restrained and these
People tryna tame me, keep me in chains, see
Actually I'd rather have em slay me and display me
My mandible above a mantle, brandishing my fanged teeth
Anything but banishing my taste for this hate speech
I act rabid, this rapping passes for madness
I’m actively reacting to having passionate habits
Tongue in a track, bumping it, thumping like jack rabbits
Who're pummeling something under their thunderous feet to flat ashes
I need to roam free
There's no domesticating me you dolts don't own me
Poachers? Animal control can't hold me
My soul told me I’m a monster, I know me

[Verse 3]
So play the most dangerous game and come hunt me
I won't run see I tunnel into tough beats
I know nothing, I’m ferocious and hungry
So I'm going through the motions hopeless and unseen
Track Name: Fun vs. Funds (feat. E. The Rapper & T-Bone)
[Chorus ]
Man I like to have fun
Make some Ramen noodle in the cut
Quite simply man, I don’t give a fuck
Man I like to have fun
Take ya girl, smack her in the butt
Quite simply man, I don’t give a fuck
Man I like to have fun
I'll live and let live like I love it
Because I don't wanna be the one to give it up for nothing
But I got a finite amount of money
And I'm running out of funding, but fuck it
Man I like to have fun

[Bridge ]
But they say a penny's earned if a penny's saved up
And if you never pay first, then you'll never make a buck
See i like to have fun but I’d rather have funds
And a backpacking rapper doesn’t have either one

[Verse 1]
Yo, this is my life
I order some egg rolls and some chicken fried rice
It’s quite nice, I like my food greasy as fuck
With a drink in the cup and some weed in the dutch
And I admit, sometimes I get greedy as fuck
But I like to dine bitch, you gonna feed me or what?
‘Tis the season to fuck, and the big boy’s in
Catch me staring at your girl with the big boy grin
She gonna get moist and stick toys in
Because she gets a certain enjoyment from the sound of my voice
And you can’t really avoid it, I’ma lure her in
Like the siren songs of the Persians, have her squirting
I can’t say you really deserve her, man you not the right one
I been laying back relaxing, counting my funds
Man I got it in the bag, enjoy your life son
I don’t really understand why you mad, man I like to have fun

[Verse 2]
What’s new?
I love my junk food and my Mountain Dew
And no amount of music’s out of tune with my rowdy mood
I pour a pouch of ramen noodle powder out and do
It louder in the booth than shouting fools in a crowded room
I wouldn't do what I been doing if I hated it
So take ya pick and play a hit, I make ‘em like I'm paid to spit
Though I ain’t paid for shit, I'm staying defecating, listen
This is what I'm into, I meant to Mentos the flavor, get it
Fresh...so am I greedy or entitled?
I don't need to be an idol but believe me, Tisse ain’t idle
To keep my breathing vitals I'ma keep releasing titles
And I'm pleased to be a beast who feeds on beats, I'm feeling wild
Man I like to have fun so I might abandon
What I write and make a plan for my life and stand tough
Fuck it that's a lie, dammit I demand funk
But if I can't get a fan then your man’s dumb
Track Name: All I Got (feat. Mr. Hip)
[Verse 1]
I'm rhyming death defying, tied in this tug of war, trust me
I been realized that I don’t want it, why succeed?
The checks arrive for all the other guys but me
I been left behind like I was not the right butt cheek
I'm too goofy, too moody, too awkward
I'm too crude for YouTubing, dude’s not heard
I'm doing two amuse bouche, lose the lobster
Cuz all that's in my wallet in my pocket is some Pogs, sir
"Fuck it!" I’ll fry a beat because I been a rap fiend
But my page reach is dead for lack of internet memes
I happen to have a habit of rap that interests me
So I chose to spend my time rhyming instead of tech schemes
I'm old and vocal but I'm barely ever mentioned
Come and get some of this embarrassing intense fun
There ain't no going back, I’m dropping no breadcrumbs
Tryna be rapper? I been a rapper and then some

[Chorus]
I shoulda been in business, shoulda been a physician
I shoulda been a lot of shit, I was a kid on a mission thinking
That this'd never be the situation I'm living in
But I spit a pensive hit to any sinner who’ll listen, listen
I'm not about to quit spitting cuz I got a job
I'm not about to quit spitting cuz I've fallen off
I'm not about to quit spitting cuz I wanna rock
I'm not about to quit spitting, this is all I got

[Verse 2]
Should’ve been a teacher but became a professor
Spitting scripture verses similar to the lectures
She say my rhymes the most important, eat it up like breakfast
Her man won’t play my SoundCloud, he petty and jealous
Want my downfall like the actor Jean-Paul from Breathless
Blog sites charge for plays, man that shit so selfish
We need some uplifting tunes with some swag and a message
My discography so godly, don’t disrespect and treat like a peasant
My voice is like a present so rejoice and lament
If i wasn’t rapping, probably be in prison
Shouldn’t have been an adjunct, or worked for the government
That was a terrible decision
Should’ve been a lawyer, rather rap and hit their daughters
Fell in love with the lit after reading Tom Sawyer
Black Shakespeare on this track them DC streets my alma mater
Should’ve been a lot of shit, now I’m the vegan rock of Gibraltar

[Verse 3]
All I got’s the rhythm and this scripture
I want it heard so I'ma get it in the mixture
But I'm a nerd, I'm surely pitiful to big birds
With my big words, winging it I spit sermons
But then I get upset when i settle in lethargy
When'll I reject what I've been and head for a better me?
Guess I'll never be better than whatever breathes
Every little letter, intentionally I've been a freak
Track Name: Only Sometimes
[Verse 1]
My music doesn't make a lot of moolah, cents (sense)
Because I'm a dash of Adam Driver mixed with coupon Ces
Matt’s a dapper dude, dashing but I’m FUBAR, a mess
Gimme a beat, gimme a pen and a pad and then "who got next?"
You got Tisse (Ts) coming after you like you was an S
I never deceive, when I'm rapping I’ma do it finesse
I cannot believe what some veterans'll do for a check
Because I'm a beast and I'm better but I'm goofy as heck, nerd
Images matter but I'm too darn bent
On being what I believe I wanna be, I'm too farfetched
You ever said what all your foolhardy askew thoughts meant?
Whatever, never mind the sentiment, I'm too far left
You’re letting me vent as I’m getting away with a tune, aw yes
So groove on guest, the verse has got 2 bars left
Bet I'ma break up what the talent pool pollutes songs with
Wait, I’m mistaken? ...Clearly I’m confused on hits

[Chorus]
You all are quick to point a finger at the things I wrote, but yo
Only sometimes do I think I'm dope
Hardly ever do I revel in the spit I spoke, cuz yo
Only sometimes do I think I'm dope
Write it, say it, love it, hate it
Write it, say it, but I wish I won’t, cuz yo
Only sometimes do I think I'm dope

[Verse 2]
I been up on the internet for too long, messing
With everything mental that I've been through when I do songs, since
I've been intense I've been a tune off, a shooed off pest
But gimme the credit that I'm meant to get as I'm booed off set
I never collected much of any loot to fuel largesse
Because I been cooped behind a picket fence and cool hard debt
You bet I regret when I neglected to pursue all this
But I been true to my mood and that’s how ya lose false friends, word
I never worry bout the "who Sauce is"
Or who saw this, or who's involved with who, it's all missed
They call me this and that, I'm Mr. Matt, I move on, next
Cuz I ain’t never fret or fume ‘bout who I gotta impress
Because I been a beginner, I meant to admit I'm a fool, hard head
But a new songs set, the verse has got 2 bars left
I moved off meds, a screwball, a loose odd end
Dudes aloof often, nuanced, so who wants this?

[Verse 3]
Y’all know I ain’t John Cho, I ain’t Kumar’s friend
So why the Asian jokes? Make it known the tunes aren't him
Ya better not drag race into this, no RuPaul dress
I been up in halfway ever since I knew who I am
But that aside, I'm dope, I mean a few songs been
Like a rush of dopamine, the flow it seems to fuel art's zen
Because I'm an artistic artist in a new songs mix
So is there a synonym other than dope to use in lieu of sick?
Track Name: Choose The Music
[Verse 1]
Listen I got a couple comments: my salary is modest
But I ain’t getting any fuckin younger, let's be honest
I bet I been a bummer, my significant other fucks with my stutter
But I'm not what another’s calling accomplished
I've got a good job, tryna be a beast at it
I gotta look strong, but y’all don't know how meek Matt is
I'm not a hood con, why the fuck I keep rapping?
I need the beats, addict, and I need to speak passion
I need release, necessity gets the best of me
Please let me appease it, I'm pleading you don't think less of me
People, I don't need your decrees, I don't need your empathy
Believe I’ve accepted it’s dead and buried, never meant to be
But I'll keep at it, I'm keeping it going for me
Boy I'ma keep rapping at least over 40
I'm boring, annoying, a freak asshole, ignore me
Cuz I won't be a whore to the industry, but I'm noisy

[Chorus]
Yeah, I choose the Music
Hey I'm only human, I'ma do what I do and I choose the Music
Cool but uncredited, a fruitless endeavor
Been a fool to keep at it but the truth is I'm tethered to it

[Verse 2]
Why the fuck do we matter within the majesty of matter?
I might be mad as a hatter but Matt is battling laughter
From inside this guy, massive chitter chatter
Is littering what I'm thinking when Tisse says Matt is a rapper
Guess I'm pathetic, but heck I'll never regret it
I said it, I meant it, I been inventive, lemme get it
My head is dependent, I'm on a bender, I’ve spent it
But gimme credit, I knew that this was a dead end at inception

[Verse 3]
Somebody from my hometown’s tryna be a rapper still
They're getting old now, and they still don't have a deal
They're getting told how they'd better let their actions chill
So I’m alone when I spit this with impassioned feels
This what passion feels like, when I rap it's real love
But after healing from a collapse, I feel done
Trappers stealing what I've been after, meal funds
But it's never been about the money
Cuz there's too many rappers, and not enough poets
Too many actors, I call the stunt showbiz
Few if any masters, ballin’ fucks focus
And most don't even know who the authority on "dope" is
But me I know this: vocals are my remedy
I'm old and broken but I won’t go let it get to me
Been a beast since 17, I shed my sheath and let it free
But now another decades ending, closer to the death of me
Track Name: Innocent (feat. Sophia Omarji)
[Verse 1]
They say The world’s messed up, what's new? Man it’s always been
A lot of men have wanted land and conquered it in dominance
It's all too prominent, the prejudice in politics
All us sinners flock to finish, falling with no common sense
I wanna vent, but I'm part of the issue
An education never saved this artist from a miscue
I've misused all my privileges and gifts, soon
To settle for whatever devils send to set our grim future
And all this time spent whining while I'm rhyming ill
Coulda been the time I spent inspiring lives and tryna feel
But I'm a real mess, every breath I feel death
I guess I'm meant to be reflective of our real sense
Or lack thereof, we need a slap across the face
Cuz every act enacted by the magistrate is tactic hate
If we retaliate to balance sin and malice
With the power that amalgamates in namaste, we're all erased

[Chorus]
We are the problem, we are the answer
We are the cure but we are the cancer
Our world's hurt'll never heal itself
So if we wanna work it out, we gotta see it ourselves, cuz
There’s no way we are innocent
Yo, there’s no way we are innocent

[Verse 2]
If we were gone tomorrow, the sorrow needn't drown a god
We been around too long and all our deeds are frowned upon
And now it dawns on us that our beliefs and thoughts are wrong
We're all the same inside and dying when our hour calls
When it's our time, we'll face all of our hatred
The nature of the human race defacing all that's sacred
And while we displayed a painful lack of patience
The angels left our misdirected decimated wasteland
God the intolerance, abominable narcissists
How can you call your neighbor flawed when you're the arsonist?
Your fight’s igniting a fire under our carcasses
Harnessing hardened hearts in a heartless attempt to start a cleanse
Marks of mortal sin are more than just enforcing it, true
The coarse acceptance of a war as normal’s fortunate, dude
If just ignoring all the torments what you do
Just be informed...the reforming starts with you

[Verse 3]
Now I refuse to speak on any issue in particular
We live at a pivotal point of pitiful indignance
And we're hypocrites...listen, nobody's innocent
You, me, the terrorists, president, pope, and little kids
You can throw your feelings up on social media
But feeling better ‘bout your recent posts isn't real enough
I don't believe in ya, you wanna make a difference?
Educate your ignorant indifference and live it
Track Name: Thank You Note
[Verse 1]
I do a lot to feel at ease, responsibilities
So who in honesty can call to me and opt to feel Matisse?
I know you got me see, I know y’all believe in me
Y’all believe in me way more than I believe it, feed the feast
When we all need to eat, you're backing all my utter nonsense
I don't see the reason, I heat up a beat but nothing profits
It's cuz we’re artists, the process trumps the progress
And we don't need a target to get on it yo we got this
Sigourney and T-Bone, and Cory and Tino
Rob & Slim and all of them who follow what Tisse posts
Y’all are beasts homies, I'm just a freak show
And honestly, y’all mean more to me than lots are free to know
It's hard for me to show it so I'll flow it
I'm not the most outgoing of poets, so I wrote it
I know I owe you, not gonna let you go unnoticed
And so I chose an opus, psychosis focusing for the moment

[Chorus]
I just wanna say thank you, cuz all of y'all mean more than me
That's anyone who came to show support and not ignore Matisse
I'm not a formal speech or formally in stores so each
And every chords important, turning boring to a tour, believe
It's not impossible, God I gotta rock and roll
I am all my vocals incarnate and y'all are all I spoke
No matter how old we grow, we are not adults
We're all young at heart and life is awesome in the Pop Cult

[Verse 2]
I cannot understand it, you're fans of all my antics
But every time I plan a hit I vanish in a panic
I'm paranoid of being that annoying man demanding
You enjoy a jam he's handing out despite not being branded
But you enjoy it anyhow, while I'm buried down
Deep within the cellar of the undergrounds scary house
"Can you hear me now?" I know that y’all will hear me out
I don't plan on climbing out this coffin, but you stand your ground
I'm a man of my sound, I said it then I meant it
So everything I spit and every sentiment is genuine
No hidden messages intended for the pessimists
But I guess it's evidence I'd benefit from medicine
But you support my working, curbing all the hurting
A word is never heard for what it's worth unless it's serving
So even if I'm unable to manage this in person
I wanted to make a verse to pay you tribute so you heard it
Track Name: Happy Birthday (feat. Lou Ka$h & Y'z)
[Chorus]
To fall with age, call it pain in the worst way
I'm all rage all day on my birthday
I work way too insane to deserve shame
I'm all rage all day on my birthday

[Verse 1]
My catalog is at a biblical status
Scribbling madness in pads like a lyrical savage
Enough pages with verses to fill up the mattress
Like Pusha T packing packets before he split up with Malice
These pens run dry and I save ‘em like trophies
Write with my enemies blood, more focused than Kobe
Feel like I'm the only one these clones ain't controlling
So I stay telling the whole damn world to blow me
Normally I'm laid back, but the rage is no joke
Put razors to throats like I'm shaving up dope
And they see my environment made me get raised without hope
So these fucks are never given like her legs staying closed
And I don't claim to be the most clever with bars
But I damn sure know that I'm ahead of the stars
Cuz I done put in more time than a regular job
To make sure my name remembered in the end of it all

[Verse 2]
When I was born they said, "A hero's been sent!"
Fast forward, my notoriety’s like 0%
It's clear where I went, ‘twas an apparent decent
I try to share my struggles, but they don't care when I vent
Thought I could pull strings and things like a marionette
Instead I got played more than a fraternity's stereo set
If I die and they try a 'Go Fund Me' for burial debt
The idea would be buried in secs. (sex) like a venereal threat
Now I'm on a path of neglect, mixed with emotional stress
Creates a plateauing effect where I fail to connect
Now that's a sign of distress, time to move on, re-assess
Yet I take more of my valuable time, then I go and invest
Cuz I'm iller than most should be killing the coast with villainous quotes
“Numero Uno” I'm talking a billion votes, it's not even close, and then in my toast
I'll say, "Nice try” to the runner-up's, which would be a lie cuz they fucking suck
Never mind it's all in my head, I've stayed in a race that I never led

[Verse 3]
Believe me, Even though I'm 13 going on 30
I'm finna turn it up and do a ditty dirty
Bitches heard me because surely I've been wordy
But nobody sing along with me while murdering a turnt beat
Vocal words speaking spoken I don't know enough
Friend of heavy metal, horned hands, better throw em up
An old head going ham as I’m throwing up
Ain't nobody know it but I’m doper than a potent drug
But no luck, no love as I do it
One, maybe two others fucking with my music
Nothings fucking lucrative, I’m sucking and I’m stupid
And guess what: the muthafucka stuck in this is clueless
I gotta stop thinking bout what people might have heard
And buy that life alert, the way I'm falling off I might get hurt
I'm mighty hip, but I'll break it when I write a verse
Listen to this senior citizen bitching, it's fighting words
Track Name: Cloud Nine (feat. D. Riddle)
[Chorus]
I'm never gonna let go of the dream
No matter how messed up moments seem
I'm never gonna come back down
I'm never coming off my cloud
Cuz even though I'll never grow complete
And even though I've outgrown all the glee
I'm never gonna come back down
I'm never coming off my cloud

[Verse 1]
My mind has been more inclined to be rhyming when I’m feeling ill
Scared to be impaired, I'm embarrassed caring, I’m barely real
I rarely ever try to hide it, but I’m here to heal
My carnival of terror, I won't dare get off this ferris wheel
I'ma breathe it, I love it, I release it
You can take it or leave it, I don't need another reason
But best believe I'ma wonder "What if I need it?"
I covet what you keep in your covered corners and secrets
Because I'm empty, barely any accept me
The "mess" me, "regrets" me, cuz even less get me
I've been impressing people every time I wreck beats
But then the "fresh" dissipated and they left me
Every time I rhyme on another record, guess it's more to hate and
All the false and forced elation? Call it off, it's short charading
I can afford to be annoying so I sort of made it
Go on and ignore me cuz I'm so poorly coordinated

[Verse 2]
My music tells a story and it’s starring me
I’m past Cloud Nine but don’t nobody see the star in me
I’m tryna make it through all the doubts and failed times
Without my kids having to watch jail time
I’m on the grind, and this music is my hustle
Yeah I do it cuz I love it but I do it for the duffel
Bag full of green, bank account say full
Go ahead and check my credit, they gon’ tell you that it’s good
I put my soul in this, got full control of this
You hating like a cop that wanna shut it down patrolling this
Scene like a crime, if I put it on Vine
It’d proly blow up, but that wouldn’t blow my mind
Cuz fame is just a step away from doing something dumb
Why you stressing making plans, talking ‘bout you ‘bout to run?
Just take a deep breath, it’s okay to say “help”
But I never had no help, nah I did did by myself, so

[Verse 3]
I'm blessed with the belief that a message is the key
To respect and that can lead to mass connections in a scene
But the passion never seems to catch the essence of my being
So I scream, live a bittersweet sentence as it seems
This has all been Matisse so the problem is me
But I will not be defeated by a song y’all don't stream
This Sauce is a dream but it's all that I need
This impossible feat is nearly all that I believe in
Track Name: Believe I'm In Need
[Chorus]
I am emotion, a feeling, pondered
I am my vocals, a demon, monster
I am the hope for release unwanted
I am the hopeless, matisse, so cmon and
Lemme believe I’m in need, believe I'm in need
Lemme believe I'm in need, believe I'm in need
I'm panicking, need the relief, I need the relief
I'm manic and need to believe, I need to believe

[Verse1]
Are y'all familiar with the fight when you're stuck in a loop?
Invested in the perpetual cycle of life when nothing is new?
Got nothing to do? ...You surely got something to lose
Wanting the tunes, wanting the views, but you don't wanna have nothing to do
With the struggles of the come-up, the blood and the tears and the sweat, homie
You gotta respect it, gotta invest your literal breath, homie
A bit of the stress, a bit of distress, while living near death, homie
A little intense? You're never collecting a bit of that bread, homie
But none of you know me really, I'm indebted to flow, it's silly
The medical rhetoric benefits better than anything, vocals heal me
I'll level with anyone, decibel levels envelop my soul, conceal me
And whether I'm getting a check in a measure is never my focus, hear me

[Verse 2 ]
Am I that anomalous that I want to spit but don't want the glitz?
That I want the hits but don't wanna mix with the mischief politics?
I don't want the business I wanna witness the pensive thoughts i think
I don’t want the riches, I gotta rip this rhythm, raw to live
Cuz I was dying when I was whining and crying
Night after night I would retire, lie in a bed of barbed wire
My silent denial of my trials, lying, they’re trying me
Syphoning life from inside of me, so I rhyme to stay alive, I speak
Replenish, my fury beats incentive
I murder beats and then proceed to turn the speakers’ head in
I'm sure this beats a session with a therapist, scheming medic
So I don't need no payment, I'll keep on releasing dead-ends, but solely for myself
Track Name: Cue The Funeral
This spectacle’s for individuals, not the bigger groups
It's not political, my affiliation’s minimal
I'm tryna get at you through rhythm, spitting lyrical
My mission’s been to vent since my inception, listen, hear in full
I hope I'm reaching ya, Matisse’s vocals speaking up
I mean to quote the deep and heat up social media
But I don't meme enough, I believe in something serious
I'm better than the internet is letting on, believe it
But even as I'm saying all these self-elating statements
My aim is to relate to all the failures staying shameless
We had our dreams, but we're languishing in anguish
We're angry in the Matrix, but were unwilling to change it
And that's okay yo, as long as we don't complain though
Having no solution makes it whining, and that ain’t adult
The pain is cold, gut wrenching and it takes its toll
We may be old, but we've never been relatable
Is that a failure though? Suffering in sounds of silence?
Empowered minds tend to fight, and that's the loudest quiet
I tried relying on tyrants when seeking guidance
But they would keep me shy and stifle vibrance, then my life ends
Now that was hurtful, universal, I'm sure that you know
So I move immersing myself in tunes, it's scuba through flow
But there's a loophole, its twofold, its futile
It's highly unlikely that I'll survive 30, so cue the funeral