This Prison, This Reality

by Sauce is Matisse

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03:37
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03:58
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03:07
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credits

released May 19, 2017

Produced by Sauce is Matisse & Mister K.A.
Mixed & Mastered by Sauce is Matisse.

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about

Sauce is Matisse Charlottesville, Virginia

"Sauce is Matisse" is a rapper based in Charlottesville, VA inspired by both underground and mainstream music across all genres. His work showcases a sound between raw hip-hop and the most technical metal outfits.

After being described as a mental paradox, he was given the advice to “contain” that paradox in order to allow all sides of himself to coexist.

He has done this through music.
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Track Name: If I Only
[Chorus]
If I only knew how to make a few
Then I would pay my dues and I'd be making music

[Verse 1]
I’ve spent over a decade tryna do this
And I’ve been ruthless and fueled by my true grit
But loose lips lose ships in a movement
I’ve been clueless, I'm foolish, it's fruitless
I'm rotting getting older as the Springs turn to Summers
In a purge, unlearning everything, I think I'm getting dumber
So is this ignorance some bliss or a bummer?
I miss the innocence, amiss, a misnomer
Cuz I'm meta, there's no telling what I might find
When I get up in get in my head inside my mind
My imagination’s medicine in my mind’s eye
Yet it's said I'm a wreck, I don't get it, why’m I blind?
I'm aware Matt’s vision is impaired, that fiction
Isn't there, I'm mad livid as I stare back thinking
I been bitter, committed, pitiful, bareback dicking
Every snare, clap, and kick in every shared track, spitting

[Verse 2]
I write about what I know
I’m a titan down with the flow
And I mighta been sounding dope
If I could tighten the rope I'm wrapping around my throat, choke
I'm piff and pitiful, pissing away my mental woes
Inventing it letter by letter, listen, pay attention folks
I'm never better while itching to spit a head of hopes
Headed to regret it, I said it I meant it, get it though?
I'm a dichotomy, a heavenly sin
When compared to a paradox, I'm identical twins
With the fairest nefarious fettered fact-told fibs
I'm embarrassed to care, but I care an ass load, shit
My progress stopping though the Sauce keeps talking
On them all, beats knocking through the walls, seems odd
But I’ve been honest to god, I'm a bomb and armed, tick tocking
In a song, it's impossible, but I'll keep rocking out

[Verse 3]
I’ve been up in the game for a decade, I'm insane
I'm a veteran but never got a credit to my name
I ain't in it for the phases of fortune or fame
I'm saying I'm out the frame, I ain't forced to decay
I said this shit like I know something
I'm a pessimist on a low budget
I never set out to blow, fuck it
So I guess I'll never know nothing
Track Name: Social Media (feat. Emily Bones)
[Verse 1]
Every day we're diving into this social media cesspool
We never left, we stay connected but regret use
Ever tethered but neglecting what we've been through
And who we've been through it with, the wretched internet’s fooled
Everyone, and anyone who's been anyone
Cuz everyone is a better someone when pressing thumbs
We're waiting patiently for an event that never comes
See we've all said it once but never cut the engines off
As I speak you probably see this on your newsfeed
I wrote my lyrics on a screen instead of loose leaf
Our lucid dream is all illusions so we boost reach
But who sees? Ain't nobody never lose sleep

[Chorus]
Are you locked up in a world that's been planned out for you?
Are you feeling like a social tool without a use?
Scream at me until my ears bleed
I'm taking heed just for you

[Verse 2]
So listen to lame lyrics, the digital age here is
The pivotal place apparently winning with fake appearances
We take a mirror and make up a made up heretic
Aware we can't compare to our faces' opaque comparisons
We label lessons to make a better impression
We make our messages more impressive with made up headings
We take offense to like everything ever, man he petty (mani-pedi)
We'd better watch where we step 'fore we get our hands messy
Cuz we don't know if it's fake news or real news
And we all know it got fake views and we still use it
Defending stupid and foolish hooligans, real rude
I feel crude in my cruel speech but it's still true
Heed my words and believe my verse
See you'll defeat the curse if you can leave and learn
To put your screen down and be a people person
We need to learn that we can be imperfect

[Verse 3]
Social media owns hope and dreams
Folks throw up a meme and then gloat when their post's seen
Hoping to go disease, coast to coast and overseas
Wholly focusing only on loneliness sold on screens
Or so it seems, it's sorta like
Roaming nights spent solo on a mobile device, right?
We gotta grow with our sight
And take our eyes off our phones so we can focus on life, all right?
Track Name: Migraines
[Chorus]
I'm getting big headed with the migraines
I'd better medicate my meditative mindstate
I’m never messing with no magic and no mind games
I made a method of my madness, my way

[Verse 1]
you know I'm prone to only focus one emotion and that's disgust
going through the motions and I know what’s got me mixed up
Talking to myself I tell the truth, but I distrust
This sucks, I'm a dichotomy, probe and discuss?
I've seen it go, believe but I know
So I lean to the hope but I'm real with my goals, ya know?
I'm out objectively assessing any holes
In my focus and closing up any openings
I'm rapping bout my mental over some annoying sampled
Entertaining instrumental, say I stay experimental
Gotta hand it to my stamina, I made it out my hell hole
And I'm making every date a day I wake up saying “hello!”

[Verse 2]
I wanna land so many hits that y'all get cauliflower ear
Just kidding but I'm finna get em all up outta here
Cuz I'm all about the flare that you all about to hear
Gotta talk about the falling out of all the sound and sear
It like a steak, I'm rare, gimme a break, compare
Me to a vacant faking waste of space, if you ain't aware
No stroke of genius’ll ever take its place without impairing
He who carries it, I bear it every day, it's staying there
Okay I'll lighten the sauce
All right I mighta been typing when I was frightened of thoughts
And living life with the light off, like I was lying and lost
But now my writings like Vicodin, I am high on the songs, so

[Verse 3]
I’m tryna take the edge off of this headache
But any way I meditate is messy, flaking lead paint
My dead state’s heavy sedative is pressing play
Cuz every dedicated medicine has went away
No weening off it, gone in all in or nothing
I’ve fallen off of my rocker but oddly swallowed the “fuck it”
So I'm an honorably calm and collected awful curmudgeon
Not much has come up, I call it a false alarm when I'm humming a hoax
Hi, it's time for me to get on your nerves
I meant every word, it's medicine whatever you heard
An ancient extraterrestrial, but I'm tethered to earth
Regret and a curse, cemented in my head and it hurts
Track Name: Still Nameless
[Chorus]
These are my bangers, this is my playlist
These are my hits, but bitch I’m not famous
This is what I’m talking bout, the mainstream hates this
The freaks are all shameless leeches and I’m nameless

[Verse 1]
Good god I love the Underground, bury me now
Carry me out down that scary aisle and marry me, Sound
So now we bounce out to the very town where terriers howl
At a fair and full moon, they’ve had it being human for now
I would dig my own grave if it kept me out the mainstream
Cuz I know they would hate me, so why should I safe? See
I’m not about that “awesome” debauchery, that’s a lame scene
Encouraging these late teens to put their faith in fake dreams
And go with the flow, so I’d rather spit this sick shit
As in I’m in this music institution as its patient
I’m patient, say shit, these rappers lacking patience
All hoping to blow, but I hope they know most of em ain’t shit
So I stay content with my position in this hospital
While I watch all these cocky bullshit artists hit their obstacles
Then fall a full flight of stairs down cuz of all their gaudy gold
It’s comical, cuz all this time I’m rocking in my Pop Cult

[Verse 2]
It’s hopeless, nobody shows love to vocals in dope cuts
Unless it’s a chrome-studded colloquial faux thug
These folks wouldn’t know ruckus if ruckus was known fun
These fuckers just flow tons of this rubbish and blow blunts
No, I don’t wanna listen bout the bitches you did last night
And liquor? Pshh, go figure, I figured you’d get your “cash right”
I’m not interested in your triggers or your gat fights
Your clapping’s a sack of crap, is that your murder rap? Psych
You’re fibbing undercover like you’re Gus and Shawn
And I’m a sick motherfucker like I’m ill and fucking your moms
I’d like the bricks, all your drugs, so I can have fun with the law
You run shit hard on your block? Or are you nothing but fraud?
Fucking come on, if I was into shit they played on the radio
Hey the labels would pay me the dough to say shit I ain’t even know
Lame freaks would play me at home with ladies while baking and stoned
But I’d rather play me alone and say that I hate em, ya know?

[Verse 3]
All my underground artists, where your studios at?
I said all my underground artists where your studios at?
Are you bootleg and basement when doing your rap?
Don’t be ashamed you ain’t “made it,” your music’s intact
And you don’t answer to nobody, your flow is your own hobby
You’re focused and dope but mostly alone at your own party
It’s hardly a party when the majority owns Barbie
But knowing that your soul hasn’t been sold to copy boasts art
See this is real shit, and a lot of hits are sellout
You sell embellished albums to your crowds? Get the hell out
Cuz I’m ready to yell now and belt this out as swelled sound
You’ll hear it well and loud even though I dwell in the Underground
Track Name: Therapy
[Verse 1]
Why is my mind high on this pie in the sky wildness?
I am a shy hyacinth, fire my psychiatrist, die
Wrong or right I'm walking right into a fire pit
Pyres annihilating my sight in song cuz I'm a bitching
Audible analrapist, I follow fits of common sense
Fall in pits of false regret, I'm honest when the drama hits
"C’mon bitch!!" I don't wanna bother with the nonsense
Y'all finessing fickle false friends in a fraud
And if I myself was into it as everyone else
Then I'd be anyone else
And not my individual self
And I don’t like the way it felt, so

[Chorus]
I’ve proven I'm a looney tune, Sauce needs therapy
And you do too dude, cuz Sauce needs therapy
And ain't nobody sane like they're saying
I'm aware that we're impaired and you can bear it with me
Sauce needs therapy

[Verse 2]
Nobody's all level, were coping and calm, chemicals
Focusing all our effort unknowingly on ephemeral moments
Nothing goes forever so we're hopeless
Set in a false sense of commotion but never knowing shit
And I'm the oddity? Y'all a flock of sheep
Common, unconscious of conning yourself is all you'll be
A carbon copy of commodities is all I see
Y'all are all just too enthralled to see it's all a dream
Y'all asleep, because normals sorta weird
Making weird appear as normal, informal and so it's feared
But hear with open ears, foregoing the faux veneers
Focus on hope and fear is so phony that no one’s clear, and I've

[Verse 3]
People are pissed off, and I lick my lips all evil
Like I'm this far deep beneath this shit storm freak show
That you call "keeping it together doing me, yo"
But on the d-low, everybody's seams broke
And I ain't stitching or sewing so quit your bitching and moaning
And picture nixing emotion to fix the grip that you're holding
So amidst the fiction and folding over it's simple
Y'all a clique of clinical known freaks
Just like me
You are just like me
Yeah, you’re just like me
Am I fucking right? Feeling like I just might be
Track Name: Pop Tabs, Get My Guzzle On
[Chorus]
Uh, hold up, you know I'm drinking soda
Roll up to the grocery store to get me some more of
Them sweetened cans of sugar rush, piece of heaven? Good enough
Artificial farcical fountain I’ve found, I'm looking up
Pop tabs, get my guzzle on
I’ll pop tabs, get my guzzle on
I'll guzzle down sweets long as I ain't got my muzzle on
And I ain't gotta justify it muthafucka, nothing's wrong

[Verse 1]
I’ve got this habit of grabbing a can of battery acid to sip
Cracking the tab and having a passionate smack of the lips
Savage, and irrational, rash, in casual actions and ticks
Sad and I'm sick, I’m manic, an addict, in fashion, I think
My vice a beverage, and I need advice on my life a lot
It's quite pathetic, I feed on feelings and I like the pop
I'm peeing neon and seeing demons inside my walls
Creative freedom is staining reason, I might be wrong
But when I'm right, it excites me, it's sorta nice
I’m pouring right into the glass see, ignore the ice
I'm not a madman or fanatic, not abnormal, “aight”
I'm just enamored with an attachment to my soda vice
So if you ask me, yeah I need it caffeinated
I need a glass please, add a splash and Matt’s elated
I had to say it, had to make an attempt to grab a taste
Sipping on a soft drink is similar to masturbating

[Verse 2]
One bottle of pop, two bottle of pop, three bottle of pop, four
Five bottle of pop, six bottle of pop, seven bottle of pop, more
Eight bottle of pop, nine bottle of pop, ten bottle of pop, score
I got two more in the fridge pack, and I can tell I'm sick, crack
Cuz I just want a sip that and hell I want more
See Matisse'll never beat the diabetes, believe it
I mean it when I'm screaming that I need it, I breathe it
The cavities that seen my teeth been treated, all deleted
Greed, a soda on the side while Tisse is eating, I'm feeding
My addiction, with every sip of elixir
I'm easing my afflictions, I'm settled sleeping and sick, sir
Get the picture? Liquid, carbonated, and mixed syrup
I'm bout that bliss, bring that ignorance in that mixture, fizzing
Track Name: Every Day Anyway
[Verse 1]
Sauce on fire like a Molotov cocktail
Y'all inquire ‘bout my health, well I'm not well
I'm not a liar, but the truth I cannot tell
When I'm in the booth I'ma drop another bombshell
A common enemy is a common incentive
So why does everybody abandon the pensive?
Think quick and the quick thinking gets it
Work together and the benefits immense and
I forgot what I was saying
A lot’s changed my thought process, sane?
I'm all strange, an oddball, deranged
On and off I'm a painful knockoff of fame
A cockamamie enlarged artists rage
Don't bother blaming the bars y'all, refrain
It's not the chorus at all y'all, it ain't
I hope I'm not singing this song all in vain

[Chorus]
I don't care what haters say, I’ma do it anyway
I'm aware I'm made to stay so Ima do it everyday
I don't care'f I fade away, I’ma do it anyway
I’ma do it anyway, everyday, anyway
Everyday, anyway
Everyday, I’ma do it anyway

[Verse 2]
Everybody wanna do it on the big screen
Big dreams, sick schemes in a lit scene
But not everybody gotta move into the rich league
Energy, inner chi, and I sense me
I’ma do what I please, let the rest leave
Letting loose on the street in my friend’s jeep
Got the moves and the beats and my French speech
I’ma do it fucker, I'm a foolish, depressed Tisse
Raps jettisoned, danger, attack, get em in
Maybe in fact making em slap’ll be Matt’s medicine
The mad mania’s made of a magnetic amazing
And magnificent take I’ve amassed in the clip
But Matt’s innocent, I'm past petty shit
Get your ass outta the way, this is Matt’s internet

[Verse 3]
I am not a common man, I'm an anomaly
Cuz I'm not what I gotta be but I'm on a streak and I'm often heat
I’ve been coughing clean, raw to read, and I'm audible on a beat
And I'm all about "I can" see, I’ma be what I wanna be
Track Name: Mixed-Race Misfit
[Chorus]
I never identified with anything other than me, myself, and I
Been hella mental since 17, I thought anything to keep myself alive
So can I get it? I'm a mixed race misfit
I’ve been accepted, been rejected, been offensive
If they unsettled, they ain't nothing but opinions
I’ve been medically next level, ascension

[Verse 1]
Through the years I’ve stayed with it, the same rhythm and pain, fit in
To frames never displayed, never engaged with it
The race which I was raised with is a phase isn't it?
My face didn't display that until age hit, now I'm
A black hole of confusion and rage
A mad Joker consumed with the hate
I'm past grown, but I grew at my pace
Today I'm Matt, I'm no one but a dude in a cage, okay?
Tomorrow people have borrowed me for the future
Without it harming me, scarring features and sutures
I'm out, I'm marketing, hardly even a clue where
To start or who to market to, and finding me's the glue
Minorities see I'm boring, majority sees minority
But most ignore me, no one ever scopes the core of me
I'm mostly ornery but forced to be a force of peace
See I'm more than genes, the sum of my parts is more than me

[Verse 2]
The older I grow the more I'm ignoring these folks
So the more I focus, the more I been coping, curing this joke, yo
I mend my mourning with an annoying approach
Of going over and over, repeat it and force it to mold
I'm twice labeled, you might say that I'm bi-racial
It’s like the Asian and white sides of me vibe stable
I'm dialed way up, like eleven on the live scale
My life's laid on the line, listen, I'm late
If I could live up to Ok-Doo-Ok and Moon Kim
And talk the talk like all my mom’s literary groomed kin
I'd be the best of both worlds, see all I want is in
But I ain't one with fucking none of em, and honestly I'm spent cuz
Minorities see I'm boring, majority sees minority
But most ignore me, no one ever scopes the core of me
I'm mostly ornery but forced to be a force of peace
See I'm more than genes, the sum of my parts is more than me

[Verse 3]
See I ain't living up to either culture, either way of life
Say I'm right, say my life's syphoned liters up of vice
I'm leaving cuz I'm breathing but we ain't nothing alike
All the demons I’ve been keeping in been keeping me contrite, aight?
With thirty might come maturity
Surely I've learned to word a feature fervently and murder beats
I'm me and from the burbs, and terminally a worried freak
Europe and the East have been stirring in me, I've earned release
So the words I speak’ll keep reflecting my identity
But I ain't set you see, I’ve been questioning what I'm meant to be
Seemingly I see a set of speakers as a remedy
Cuz I'm Matisse, a medley, I’ve said I'm a mess so get me
Minorities see I'm boring, majority sees minority
But most ignore me, no one ever scopes the core of me
I'm mostly ornery but forced to be a force of peace
See I'm more than genes, the sum of my parts is more than me
Track Name: Blank Soul (feat. Lou Ka$h)
[Verse 1]
I'm goofy and off putting, I'm sorta weird
See the proofs in the Sauce pudding, look over here
I ain't starving for attention but I did neglect to mention
That I am harboring this tension, sober ears, yo
Sure I'm overworking and I know I'm bout to break
I been a burden to my nervous system, motion activate
Got a curious emotionless imperfect active state
My maturity is immature, preferred to act this age, but ey
I'm rarely taking any leave or rest
Even when it's seeming I'm a freak I never decompress
And I don't mean to creep or be a pest
But I ain't leaving til Matisse says
Believe me when I say everything’ll be okay
Everythingll be all right, all right? It's just another day
Just another fucking play on this stage where I stay
I’ve been in my methods steady, I ain't ready to decay

[Chorus]
You'd never know if I was worse or I was better off
I’ve never seen you but I rock with you whenever though
I take my opus with a soda on the side
I can go and I can hide in the flow inside the rhyme
You'd never know until I spoke up
Focused slaying vocals, say it's dope I'll play it over, ey
I know it's for the art and not the bankroll
So part of me is thankful that I'm martyred, not a blank soul

[Verse 2]
I’ve been working so hard, fuck a break now
My motive maintained, and I ain’t worried ‘bout a breakdown
I’m just tryna find anything to take down
To get a fair shake while the whole world play foul
They say “throw in the towel, you should give it up now”
But me quit? I don’t like how that sounds
I ain’t giving in til I get laid in the ground
And I say fuck what they say, I’ve been coming for crowns
From Diezel to Ka$h, I get the green by the pounds
I fought past the bar you set with these bars I spit
Barbaric shit bar for bar, no comparing this
So even my lack of success is far from failure
But when I hear the naysayers doubt what I’m doing
I just keep it moving, focused on the music
And I’ma burn a L for you fucking losers, you know that

[Verse 3]
I'm not a blank soul
I got my tank full
I been unbreakable
And part of me is thankful I'm an artist, not a blank soul