We all get self conscious, dishonest, and phony about our birthdays
We're only hoping no one knows about our earned age
"But Nurse, wait!!" See I'm certain it's a sure fate
It's hopeless, out of time, we only get the first take
My morality's at odds with my mortality
I'm caught between a rock and a hard place on a balance beam
If I fall off, fatality, I'm gone, an awful fallacy
Cowards teach us how to sleep in valor...now at ease
Never lose the youthful and fluid creative juices
Stay intuitive and true to your mood each day when you do it
Gotta dream it lucid or lose it, loosen up, losers
So do whatever you want to do, it's stupid to prove shit
We're staying young at heart, dated punk? We know the part
And play the like we're made of fucking mayhem and a soda, carbonated
Make it pop! ...Cuz coping's hard
This ain't a youngin's soul to bargain, ain't a fucking old fart

I do it all like an old man, raw like an old man
Awkward and off-putting, off with the old man
But I don't wanna be a lost and unknown man
God dammit I don't wanna be an old man
I don't wanna be an old man
I don't wanna be an old man
Do I wanna leave it all? I don't know man
But God dammit I don't wanna be an old man

Old heads hating the youth, we ain't with the trends
In a sense, playing the victims saying we're innocent
Settled, we think of every sentimental synonym
We said to friends, never regret but never ahead of them
Hours pass down fast in the hourglass
Ours last in the past, but are now amassed memories
Forgetting effigies is how we'll last
But we vowed a pact to go out attached
With this immaturity, vision obscured and we're bat-shit, bonkers
A picture imperfect, a fiction of geriatric toddlers
Dawdlers, taking our time, becoming imposters
Life'll leave us behind, passionate monsters

I do it all like an old man, raw like an old man
Awkward and off-putting, off with the old man
But I don't wanna be a lost and unknown man
God dammit I don't wanna be an old man
I don't wanna be an old man
I don't wanna be an old man
Do I wanna leave it all? I don't know man
But God dammit I don't wanna be an old man

They say age is but a number though
I guess we're ripe but we're raw folks
One day we'll wake up from our slumber's hold
Like every night's nothing, y'all know
So light the candles on our cakes, flare
And we don't care how many make it there
Cuz what's a birthday when you waste years
We're gonna make em hate it when we ain't here

I do it all like an old man, raw like an old man
Awkward and off-putting, off with the old man
But I don't wanna be a lost and unknown man
God dammit I don't wanna be an old man
I don't wanna be an old man
I don't wanna be an old man
Do I wanna leave it all? I don't know man
But God dammit I don't wanna be an old man

Shut up, I’m too old for this shit